When They Don’t Listen

I know that you have heard it before from your parents when they would tell you something like, ‘Save for a rainy day.’ or ‘Read and put your phone down’. Or what about, ‘They can never take your education’. You may have heard these growing up or have heard other parents say it to their children. This could not be more true, huh? What hurts the most is when you see your teen go through the very thing you tried to tell them and now, they have to experience it. This can be especially true when your teen is older and may be preparing for college or the work force. They are of age that they are now forced to make some hard decisions. Some of those hard decisions are ones that you have prepped them for, but maybe they did not listen. Yes, they heard you, but they did not listen. Dad, how do you handle that?

As dads, we want nothing more than for our children to avoid any pain or discomfort. However, that very pain and discomfort is what they need for growth. Do not let it be said that you did not give them fair warning. If they have to experience it, do not rub it back in their face with ‘I told you so.’ It is a time that you empathize with them and provide questions that creates opportunities for them to figure it out.

The ‘let them figure it out’ perspective can be the really challenging one. When you have to watch them go through their trials and learn how to come out of them is difficult, especially if it is not a quick fix. But you have to allow them to figure oit out sometimes. Yes, you can offer suggestions or advice, but I believe that fixing their problem can sometimes only enable your child.

So, give advice early. Have conversations about how you came through some of your challenges. Your teen has a choice of if they will listen or not. Dads, just don’t let it be said that you did not give them fair warning.